I did not post yesterday because I spent a majority of the day in the outpatient procedure building at John’s Hopkins Medical Center.
I needed to have an upper endoscopy with BRAVO pH placement. I have been suffering from GERD (gastric esophagus reflux disease) for many years. I have a hital hernia that is making the symptoms worse.
I really need to have a surgical procedure to fix the hole. After yesterday’s procedure, I have this monitor around my neck that checks the PH level in my stomach. My chest is very tight and it is hard to eat or drink. Bending over is also a problem.
I still have to have a barium swallow test in September and then we can discuss surgical options, dates and that kind of stuff. I can expect to be inpatient for 3-5 days. I may even have the opportunity to have my stomach stapled since that procedure is also an excellent way to control the reflux.
Birth mom was so cute, even though I assured her I would call when I could yesterday she called twice. I came home and went to sleep as did Mike (Hubby) who had gotten off a more than 18 hour straight work day.
She is also worried about the upcoming storm. We are starting to prepare. We have a new sump pump, and have cleared a shelf that sat beside the hole so if we have to bail we can. We purchased a generator from Sears and Mike is going to pick that up this morning.
I need to go and get some water, batteries and a couple more lighters to be prepared. I have candles and flashlights at the ready.
I will update as I can. Please stay safe! Stamping project for Accucut tomorrow. Come see what I’ve done with their birdhouse dies!
Today’s post is not unlike my other chronicles in this journey of finding out who my birth mother is andthe circumstances in which she found herself at age 14.
Before I continue, I do need to correct something. My birth mother’s language and very thick southern accent coupled with there are times I know she doesn’t even comprehend what I am saying, my last name at birth was BONE not Vone, I had to repeat it several times and verify with Marissa.
I spoke with Dorthy twice yesterday. I was proud that she allowed me to have my space while I “digested” if you will the information I found in the non-identifying information report given to me by the Georgia Adoption Reunion Registry.
I am thankful that Marissa, our social worker called to let me know some of the items contained in the report. She knew it would forever change me. Indeed it has.
I have never felt as if I where better than anyone else. Quiet the contrary. I want to maintain a servants heart and continue to serve the Lord as if I’m the only Jesus some will ever see. Yes it is an older Christian song sung by Steve Green, but the words ring true in my heart.
I now have to keep reminding myself of the poor economic situation and lack of education Dorthy had. The report says that she finished 6th grade when in fact she only finished 5th grade. Most of the children didn’t fair any better.
Even her mother had at best a 2nd grade education.
If you are a reader and just think that there is only fate or Karma, please start over, read our story from the beginning and allow your heart to be open to truth.
Truth is, since the very beginning of my life and from now until the end of my life the Lord’s hand has been on my heart and life. It is so clear how he has placed people, circumstances and angels in my path to guide and direct me for his glory.
My life verse: Jeremiah 29-14 “I (the Lord) know the plans I have made for you (not your plans, mine). Plans to give you a hope (even when you don’t see it) and a purpose (my purpose) to prosper you (provide your needs) and not harm you (allow me to havecontrol) when you seek me you shall find me when you seek me with all of your heart.”
Pray the Lord will give me the words I need to continue this journey with hope, love and give him praise in all that I do.
Since Tuesday’s blog posting schedule is generally for my design team work for Queen Kat, I decided to do a second blog post today, August 22,2011.
I am posting pictures of Lexie and Buttercup shortly after grooming to give you something fun to look at while reading the bitter and sicking truth.
I am documenting dates here on the blog so that later on I will be able to recall them without looking else where.
Today’s afternoon entry is very hard for me. It will chronicle some of the details in which circumstances necessitated my being put into foster care and later adopted.
I’ll keep this part kinda short since the details are pretty horrendous.
Please keep in mind that Dorthy was 14 and married. When I was about 9 months old she was staying with a lady for whom she baby sat. The lady called social services to have me evaluated and was afraid if nothing was done “She will surly die”.
Hard words to read, they give me goose bumps. I was found to have skin so thin that my bones where visible. I could not hold up my head nor could I grasp things. I was filthy dirty and was sleeping in a small bed with dirty blankets and my diaper not only was soiled, but I had well — tummy issues.
I was taken and placed into foster care, the direct record seems to indicate I was kept in the hospital for about 2 weeks because of the severe malnutrition and dehydration.
The report goes on to give information about my birth mother’s attempt to re-gain custody of “her babies”, but circumstances where not good.
Barbara was born and within two months taken to the ER the doctor who examined her found her to be “Mal-nourished and in pitiful shape”. Once released from the hospital she was placed into the same foster family as I was in.
The report details how my birth mother’s home was found and it indicated the residence to be so deplorable that it wasn’t fit for her much less two young children.
Yes, before you ask, my feelings and plans to be re-united with my birth mother have not changed. I did explain to her that I was angry and even why. I also wanted to let her know that I honestly understood. I kinda lied about that part. Even at age fourteen I knew a baby needed baby food, and bottles.
I have asked Dorthy to go and check her mailbox as the small scrapbook I made her (after being mailed on August 16) was finally delivered. I assured her that she could call me tomorrow.
Today I just need some space and time to process what where very harsh words. I told her to enjoy her pictures. It is hard to place myself in her shoes, I can’t imagine what it was like.
We where taken from her and for good reason. She was crying when I spoke with her last, 46 years of guilt, pain and anguish that will not end. I am sure she is haunted by visions of Barbara and I and how sick we had become from lack of basic care. The report is long and detailed. What I have shared is only a quick glimpse into the words contained there.
Time to re-group. I am humbled by this experience more than I can place into words. I am thankful for who I am and where the Lord has me now.
Bless Dorthy’s heart. She had to call me one last time last night just to let me know my Uncle Robert “You know the one who lives in Chicago” will be calling me soon. Probably during the day once he is able to get out and “buy himself some more minutes”. I am so glad that I just pay for a flat rate plan with our cell phone company.
Mike just smiled as he took my hand and gave it a squeeze. “She isn’t going to rest until she can touch you”. He said with confidence and a joyful smile. I just can’t hardly believe our reunion is going to be here very soon.
I called Ibbet (to remind you her name is Elizbeth). With so many brothers and sisters living near her in Dalton, GA, it seem like a good idea to give out a few “Reunion” jobs. I’ve tasked Ibbet with contacting as many of the siblings that Dorthy gets along with and lets all meet up and break bread together while Mike and I are visiting.
Turns out after getting two recipes and driving directions that there is a Shoney’s Restaurant that could probably accommodate our group.
Ibbet went on to tell me a bit about more about herself. She likes to make decorated crosses with ribbon, trim and lace. She makes them from Styrofoam. They are carved with a razor blade.
She also (a little sibling rivalry here) told me she likes to dip snuff. The funny part was apparently her and Dorthy disagree on occasion as to which snuff is the best to chew. I haven’t asked Dorthy yet if she chews snuff, but my best bet is that she does.
She gave me the telephone numbers of Shorty (Jerry) and Imogene. Both very colorful characters. Shorty is on kidney dialysis and lives in a single wide trailer. He is just down Airport road and has an addition on the trailer.
He was very hard to understand at times. He did share that he has very high blood pressure and doesn’t get along very well. But that his trailer has cable, running water and electric all included in his rent. Honestly, he sounded like some one on illicet drugs.
He does not drive but can read and write some what. He enjoys watching sports and day time tv. His wife and he have lived there for many years. He is now 50 years old and tired of reading the same magazines at the dialysis center.
Then I called and spoke with Imogene. Imogene is 51 now. In 1993 she had brain surgery to control her severe epilepsy. She called them “fits”. She likes to attend church but admitted yesterday she decided to be “just plain lazy” and sleep in. She was planning to attend the evening services.
At the beginning of the conversation she knew who Ibbet and Willis and even knew where the restarant is. At the end of the conversation she did not.
She told me that she had asked about “Barbara Joyce”. To remind those of you who are joining us now, please see this post to read our story from the beginning.
I had to tell her sadly that Barbara had died a few years back. Apparently she is not the only member of the Roberson family that died on their birthday. Apparently I had a great uncle that died on his birthday.
I am going to close up today’s blog post and try to call some radio stations near Fort Payne, Alabama and try and get some interest in our adoption story. So far, no luck.
Thank you for joining me on this amazing journey. Please bless someone today.
Yesterday’s post chronicled my phone call with Uncle Willis who it turns out prefers for me to call him Charlie.
Later on Saturday I received a phone call from Elizbeth. She has always preferred to be called Ibbit (like Ribbit without the “R”). When I answered the phone I heard a precious voice, deep southern accent and a “Hi Loretta”, “I’m your Aunt Ibbit”.
She continued to chronicle the lineage of the family history. She once again Heralded my name at birth as being Loretta Lynn Vone. My birth father James Vone “a short skinny man” had indeed deceased in prison sometimes in the 1960’s. I did learn that he is buried at the prison.
I found out that he was at the Penitentiary located in Millegeville, GA. Now for those of you who are just joining my story, I not only know where this prison is, but I grew up very close by in Augusta, GA. To read the first blog post, please click here.
I plan to call this facility on Monday to find out if they can verify my father’s information.
Ibbit had three children of her own. The oldest would have been 50 this year but she died in her 20’s of Asthma. Her other daughter is also deceased but she didn’t really tell me any details about her life or death.
She did tell me that she is now 70 years old and living in a home in Dalton, GA. She has one surviving child, Tim who is 49 and at age 42 finished up his GED. She also is illiterate and does not drive.(Dorthy also does not drive). She depends upon her and her husband’s Social Security to make ends meet.
She does go to church but stressed how ‘organized religion’ is not what she wants, she wants to worship the Lord. They attend a “Living” waters church. I know this is a precious place for her. As a believer in Christ I so clearly see his hand guiding this entire process.
I also got to speak with Tim, Ibbit’s only surviving child. Who until Saturday August 20, 2011 didn’t even know his Aunt Dorthy had children.
A late night phone call from Dorthy was a bit more difficult for both she and I. I know that she has a bit too much time on her hands. She had been thinking of Barbara and wanted to know more about her life and her death. I told her what I could.
However, the bottom line is Barbara’s life was a life that ended with unfulfilled potential. Cut short by an accidental prescription over dose. How the end of her life has affected me and more importantly precious Melissa.
Unfortunately, Dorthy’s phone battery died and I left her one last voice mail before turning into bed. Precious soul keeps forgetting the time difference between us. It gets late quickly.
There are now better accounts of the three children that have now died, two boys and one girl. Both boys died of renal failure and Aunt Betty of breast cancer.
Ibbit likes crafts, and wants me to send her some pictures of our family. Which I will be happy to do. I plan to make some small hand made gifts to carry with me.
I also plan to take a cup and saucer from my China. I have been collecting since I was a senior in high school. As a small gift to Dorthy.
My China tea cup and saucer
And yes, at times the information I am receiving is a bit over whelming. I pull my strength from the Lord and praise him for all the goodness he is blessing me and my family with.
Friends, I am trying to get some media attention to our story. Please if you know of a way to get this in the public eye, let me know.
Have a great Sunday. Hold tight to your family, don’t forget to tell them of your love for each of them.
With Love,
Chad and I at Kings Dominion
