Adoption Reunion Chronicles — the Struggle for balance.
This post is more a meat and potatoes kind of post than anything else.
You see, Dorthy wants me to call her “mom” all the time and I just can’t do that, at least not yet. The honest truth is I don’t know that I ever will be able to do that. As my husband put it, “Loretta you’re just not that attached to her (Dorthy) yet.
Plain yet simple truth, I have struggled with trying to balance kindness with my own needs to care for our home and family.
I still have Chad to care for, this house is in need of a great vacuum job and one of the dogs decided she thought it would be a great idea to roll in a pile of grass clippings that have been decomposing for quiet some while.
Can you say ick? It was gross. She was literally green. Any part of her body that had white fur was now this well shade of baby poop green. I picked her up, and took her straight to the sink, both laughing and wondering how the heck she got so messy.
She took her ‘medicine’ well, and didn’t fuss when I bathed her, quiet the opposite, she seemed to know that the price for her crime was a good wash and go.
My other struggle with her is though I do feel “love” for her, and really desire to get to know her more, if she continues to call me when I’ve told her as kindly as I can that I will call you tomorrow or later on today (what-ever) I will have to simply allow the phone to go to voice mail.
I tried to explain to her I actually understand how she feels. With Craig now grown and gone, I am not able to speak with him as often as I like. Gone are the days when we could just chat on the phone. He has his own grown up world and life, I just have to trust he will always love me and will call to talk when he is able.
She seemed a little bit more settled after that part of the conversation. We’ll see how it goes. I need to start turning my attention toward her health, and get her to sign a release so her physician can speak with me about her current care (or in her case lack thereof).
I am also concerned that she is not getting the proper amount or types of nutrition, she has to be over 350# with type II Diabetes neither are good factors. I need to dive in and be sure she has enough money for good groceries.
The same goes for Elizabeth (Aunt Ibbit) she had $16 left after paying her bills and used it to buy a few groceries. I am trying to find out how I can purchase a gift card for her at the place she likes to grocery shop.
The alternative is getting a Walmart gift card since she does have a Super Walmart near her home.
I am genuinely concerned about each of them, I highly believe I have returned at a time in each of their lives that I can possibly affect some positive change. I hope and pray the Lord will continue to use me to both bless and help them in any way I am able.
Have a great day, I’m working on a butterfly mini album for Ibbit, she wanted some pictures of Barbara and I in a book “kinda like the one you made your mom”. I can handle that, pieces cut, glued and dry, now to start the decorating and the filling it with pictures. Stamp happy, be a blessing!
September 19, 2011 @ 10:44 am
It seems like you have a flood of emotions…..
How do you love a stranger? I'm sure there are books and stuff on the internet that can help you ease into this new life…..talk with your Paster and most of all do what you feel God is leading you to do…..there are some things you can not chance…..then there's the three c's
1. Cause- did you cause this….
2. Change- can you change it….
3. Cure—can you cure it….
If you can not do any of these things….leave it at Jesus feet…he "can" do all of these….
I hope this helps ….or maybe you'll just tell me to mind my own business….if so please tell me…would like to be a friends…